Without You, I'm Nothing
by Project Shadow
Summary: [ShadAmy] Shadow is taking Amy's death badly. So he takes matters into his own hands... Shadow's POV. WARNING: Rated M for suicide and themes later.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Shadow the Hedgehog, Amy Rose or any Sonic Team/Sega related character.

**(A/N: Okay, here's a little warning: Shadow is OOC. I know bad me, but to make this work he had to be and because this is a fanfic, I get to write him how I like -pokes tongue out-)**

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**Without You, I'm Nothing**

_(Shadow's POV)_

I'm here again, standing over_ her _grave. I have been here everyday since she died, you can not comprehend the pain I feel; it hurts me to the very core. My very heart, mind and soul. I curse myself to this very day for falling in love with her, I should not have felt such emotions for her; I am cursed with immortality. From all that has happened in my past, I should have known better. I have broken a promise that I had sworn to myself after Maria's _murder_ that I would not love another; but of course because fate likes fucking around with you from time to time, I met her. Amy Rose. Her happiness and carefree nature captured my interest from the very beginning and even though she is no longer here, it still does. My rose had buried herself deep inside my heart and she had stolen a part of my soul, which she took with her. I had finally found someone to spend my entire life with only to have her ripped away from me by the throws of death. I didn't understand why she had met her demise, but the excessive pain it left is unbearable. If this emotion causes so much pain, why do people seek it like it is the most precious thing on the planet? I feel a sad smirk cross my lips as I look at her name etched into the granite headstone, she was my little rose and nobody was ever going to take her place. I recall the moment she had said something very precious to me, something that damned me and kept me by her side.

**Flashback**

_"Shadow!" I hear the distinctive voice of Amy Rose. As I turn to look at her, I caught her as she jumps up at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. I can't help the blush that flares on my cheeks as she hugs me close to her and I try to place her on the floor. I hear her laugh before she jumps down, I sigh at the freedom only to feel her lips on mine_

_"What do you want?" I ask, ignoring the feelings her kiss had surfaced in me_

_"Oh Shadow, I just missed you. You know when you leave me alone for too long I start to miss you" she complains to me, I feel a smirk cross my face, bluffing about my true feelings for her and keeping them locked away. I see her bottom lip stick out in a pout, challenging me to change my attitude. I watch her tip-toe up and feel her fingers start playing with my ear. I sigh quietly in comfort and defeat, then taking a quick look around to make sure we were alone, I wrap my arms around her, bringing her close_

_"Little one... What have I told you?" I ask her, taking my time to breathe in her scent, she giggles at my actions_

_"That I should not 'harass' you in public; I will not tell anyone about our relationship. Yadda, yadda, yadda... Look Shadow, I checked to see if there was anybody about before I hugged you. I just wanted to see you," I hear her almost whine with brutal honesty. As a reward, I give her a kiss on her cheek, letting my guard down slightly. I see her eyes light up and a smile graces her face. "I promise to love you forever Shadow!" I hear her declare lovingly, my mind went blank as I stared at her. Did she _mean_ it? I see her wink and run away; leaving me stood on my own with a blush and a flustered look._

**End Flashback**

As I made my way out of the graveyard, I can feel a tear run down my muzzle. Amy had meant her words and she had kept them until her dying day. She had further shown her love for me by giving me twin sons; Dusk and Shade. They looked so freakishly like me when they were born that Amy wanted their names to be synonymously linked to mine, I kill the urge to smirk, they have grown to look _exactly_ like me. They have 'flown the nest' now, leaving me alone in the once bright and cheerful house. Depressing thoughts keep forcing their way into my head, I can feel myself becoming a victim of it, but I don't care. I _miss_ my little rose and if I get depressed? So fucking what. I couldn't even bring myself to sell her house, it holds too many dear memories for me, just the_ thought _of someone else sleeping or having _sex_ in our room makes my blood boil. I can tell Dusk and Shade are worried about me and I always wave off their concerns, telling them about my feelings wasn't even on the cards. Sometimes, when I lay in bed at night, I swear I can hear her gentle voice soothing my tired mind. I even hallucinate that she is stood at the end of our bed, always smiling at me and always wearing that sexy night-wear I loved seeing her in. Every time I try and reach out to her, try to touch her - she disappears. I know I'm going insane, locked up in our home and only venturing out to visit her. Did I care? No. Was I embracing the insanity? Of course. I was left alone, only two original heroes remained, Sonic and Tails; but my rival was barely alive, not much use to me anymore. Not that I would ever go and visit the now senile hero. I stop in front of my house, glancing at the letterbox at the gate the two names written on it stand out at me and I can feel my insides twist in hurt. Her name in pink and my own in black.

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I walk into my house and head straight to the bathroom, ignoring the dust and cobwebs that had settled throughout the living room. I pick up the mirror from the side and stare at my own reflection. I barely look like me anymore, my eyes are tired and bloodshot from the tears I foolishly let fall.

_"Shadow..." _I hear Amy's voice caress my ear and the mirror slips from my fingers and smashes to the floor, shattering into a million pieces. I look for her, but see nothing. I scowl, why did my mind like playing tricks on me? I let my gaze fall to the broken mirror and I let a sentence I had memorised from a book Dusk had once brought home from school, fall from my lips

"I would drop a mirror on the floor to reflect my shattered thoughts..." I let it fall in a whisper. I shake my head and began cleaning the glass from the cold, tiled floor. I pick up a big piece of mirror and stare at my crimson eyes again. They are a dull red, full of sadness, heartbreak and depression. _I should not have fallen for her! Look what she has done to me!_ I throw the bit of mirror to the floor in anger. Standing from my crouch, I stalk from the bathroom and into the kitchen, another image of her cooking enters my mind and I viciously snap my head away from it. _I can't take this anymore. I have tried and failed! _I dash into the garden, jumping over various overgrown shrubs and weeds I kick the door to my shed open. I kneel and push some bags apart and look upon a shining metal case, ripping it open I pick up the prize from its position in its home. I look at it and sigh, _what the hell am I doing?_

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As I step back into the kitchen, I throw the gun I had retrieved from my shed onto the kitchen table and then proceeded to pace in front of the kitchen sink. I growl and then take a seat at the table, not being able to take my eyes off of my gun. _What am I doing? This isn't me. I am the Ultimate Lifeform; I should be stronger than this! Is this what I want? Would Amy disapprove? _A smirk settles on my lips and I chuckle despite myself; of course she would. _Is this what I have become? What everything comes down too? _Amy's face appears in my mind, a loving smile gracing her lips as she gazes at me. I then hear her laugh and I place my hand on the table, not sure what I wanted. I hear my name being sighed in bliss and I feel a blush heat my cheeks. That was the way she said my name when we were being intimate. _That's it. _I grab the gun trying to stop the shaking that has taken over me; I gaze at my reflection in the cold, lifeless metal, hating what I can see. I gave up trying to stop myself from shaking and I turn the barrel towards my head, ready to end all of the pain that I feel in my heart. I slip my eyes shut as I switch the safety off. I can feel something caressing my cheek and as I open my eyes to see who dare interrupt, I frown as I see a vision of my rose. I snort and keep the gun to my head

"Go away" I mutter to it, glaring into its eyes. The vision frowns at me

"Shadow the Hedgehog!" her angry voice met my ears and I stare at her in shock._ Maybe this is not a hallucination... but that's impossible_. "What do you think you are doing?" I was still speechless, but I manage a scowl. This was not my rose; it was just a figment of my conscious not wanting me to die.

"You are nothing but a hallucination, an artificial image created by my insanity. Leave me be"

"You'll wish I was Shadow!" I hear her growl in a threat, making my scowl disappear "What has happened to you?" As I hear her inquisitive question an incredible rage fills me. I clench my teeth, making my sharp canines puncture the inside of my lips. I can feel the anger battle with the pain of seeing her and I shut my eyes

"_YOU_ happened to me!" I snarl at her, my eyes fly open and I can feel they are ablaze "_YOU'RE _feelings enslaved me. _YOU_ own my heart and soul... Amy I can't go on like this. I'm going to out-live our _sons!_ I can't do it!" I hear her gasp and I gaze deeply into her emerald eyes, the very eyes I adored. I realise she really is my rose, no image had dared pass the line of imitating her eyes "Amy. Without you, I'm nothing," I watch her for a reaction, letting a single tear fall down my muzzle, cocking the gun I place the barrel against my forehead. A sudden bright light made me stop my finger from its journey to the trigger. I watch in fascination as giant, white feathered wings spread from her back and as I look to her face I can see tears running down her cheeks, a sad look crosses my face "I am not worth an Angel's tears..."

"Shadow...," I hear her whisper sadly. I feel her presence around me as she hugs me, but I cannot feel her, but I want too... So badly. "I love you. I will always love you, until you are the only one left and your time comes..." I hear her declaration and I clench my eyes shut. _I don't _want_ to live without her! _I felt my finger on the cold metal of the trigger...

And I pulled it.

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This is **_not_ **the end, I have the next bit planned, don't worry.


End file.
